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Why the communists feared Elvis’s pelvis

Posted on 07 December 2018

People's Blog
Why the communists feared Elvis's pelvis

The communists feared and hated Elvis Presley for a number of reasons. The sexialized barbarism of his music and dance distracted young builders of communism and enticed them to embrace decadent capitalism. On top of that, in 1958 Elvis the Pelvis went to serve in the U.S. Army and was stationed in West Germany, defending it from the Eastern Bloc and undermining the communist morale by his very existence there.

All attempts to supplant rock and roll with kinder and gentler music and dance were doomed to failure. The East German dance "Lipsi" was dead on arrival, and so were other artificial creations. I, on my part, remember the clever undertaking by the Soviet government in the 70s and 80s to offer the heroic Soviet youth an alternative: if you want music and dance that sounds foreign, here's music from Cuba, Guatemala, and other progressive parts of Latin America. You will listen and you will like.

It is my unconfirmed but plausible theory that the Party's implicit efforts to cultivate Latin music in the former USSR account for the fact that most of today's Russian pop sounds a lot like some Latin "oldies but goldies" radio channel translated into the Mother Tongue.

Why Elvis' time in the Army scared the hell out of the communists

The communists needed a secret weapon of their own to counter Elvis' sultry hip movements. So, they came up with the Lipsi, a dance that was, uh... Let's just say the communist-approved version of the waltz that was aimed towards youngsters never caught on because, well...

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