Categorized | Humor

Big Head on the Mountain

Posted on 28 August 2012

A Wormhole into the Future
Big Head on the Mountain

This is a story we received through the wormhole from Mark Fritz, a citizen of the future.


The gears of their well-worn Chinese-made Schwinns were grinding as Dante and his kid sister Uma rounded a steep curve on a wilderness trail in the Black Hills. A gap in the forest foliage gave them a direct view of the mountain known as Rushmore, and they squeezed their handbrakes and came to an abrupt stop, as if the awesome sight before them was the visual equivalent of a roadblock.

“Wow,” said Uma.
“Told ya,” said Dante.
“I thought the Big Heads on the mountain was just a legend.”
“Told ya. There they are.”
Uma gazed silently up at the mountain for at least a minute, and Dante gazed at Uma. He’d never seen her so quiet for so long.
Finally, Uma broke the golden silence: “Who the heck are they? Important guys, I suppose. Big heads of big shots.”
“The old guys I work with at the distillery told me all about the heads. They know lots of history because they’re old. Gideon, the mash-master, is, like, 59!”
“Wow, I’ve never met anyone that old. Our parents aren’t even that old.”
“Gideon told me they’re the heads of past Presidents of what used to be called the United States of America.”
“The one to the left looks familiar.”
“Yeah, did you ever see an old paper dollar bill?”
“Well, he’s on the dollar. And that’s him on the old quarter coins. You’ve seen them?”
“Yeah, Brianna has a necklace made of one; but I thought that was a woman on the coin.”
“No, it’s George Washington wearing a wig – both on the coin and on the mountain.”
“Washington? As in ... read more ... Statistics : 1 Post || 162 Views Post by Red Square

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