Hey Media Circus fans! Happy Birthday Mr. President, even though you were really born on the International Space Station with the covert help of those who shot JFK from the off-site branch of Area 51 beneath Loch Ness. Also, Cash for Clunkers becomes Crash for Flunkers. Uncle Jay explains!

Hey Media Circus fans!  Uncle Jay is back!   Everybody talked about Walter Cronkite, plus the historic landing on the moon (wink wink).  They’re just trying to get us ready for next month, when they won’t shut up about Woodstock.

Hey Media Circus fans! It’s time to sing America’s praises for the 4th! Unfortunately, Uncle Jay sings about the news instead. Ever since December’s year in review, fans have screamed for Uncle Jay to sing again. So by popular demand, here’s 2009 in review. How’s that for punctual?

Socialism! You’re wrong if you think this word has anything to do with Facebook. Uncle Jay explains what socialism is, why it’s been in the news lately, and what to do if you get any on you.

It’s hard to know which is scarier: that America’s Economy has gone to the dogs, or that America’s Sweetheart is a Chihuahua. As usual, Uncle Jay fetches the best explanation, and keeps you from barking up the wrong tree.

Our economy is saved! Think of the economy as a Damsel in Distress, and the government as a Handsome Prince on a Mighty Horse. Now, for a clue about how the government will handle this crisis, look directly underneath the horse. Uncle Jay explains it all, and of course includes O.J. Simpson.

It’s the White House Cash House! The more you lose, the more you get! This week, Uncle Jay explains in great detail how the government bailout works.

Hahahaha … just kidding! Even the people in charge don’t know how it works! How do you think they got to be the people in charge?